We're reading Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury" in English right now, and I just started thinking about writing in general. I'm not terribly far into the book, only in the first 100 pages, but already I can tell that Faulkner is a fantastic. So, yeah, I was thinking about writing in general. I guess I'm alright at writing; at any rate, I can put words on paper, and I'm sure I could publish some novel if I really put my mind to it, but it wouldn't be very good. And you just don't get very much "good" writing these days. You may occasionally find a novelist that can write a piece of work that is truly worthy of the title of "literature," but it is very rare in these times. I can't imagine ever finding writers as good as Faulkner. I'm actually a bit sad: I always wanted to be a writer as a kid, but now that I'm growing up, I almost don't want to write, don't want to contribute my meager offerings, don't want to add to the piles of rubbish that get piles nowadays. When you read a truly great novel by a truly great writer, you realized just how unremarkable your own writing is.
I guess that just because you aren't a world-class writer doesn't mean you shouldn't write at all, but maybe I just won't go for getting things published anymore. I love to write, but I probably will just write for the sake of writing and keep it to myself. Journaling and blogging I will do, but publishing anything? It is something I'm not sure I still want to do. Really, my writing is so personal and so... well, amateur, for one thing, and hard to understand, for another, it's probably better it stays in the privacy of a notebook.
Fall is coming. I can never decide how I feel about fall. It's a very distinct feeling. It has a mood that can't be compared to anything else. It is nostalgic. But fall is never an unpleasant season, I think. It is not cheery, like spring. It is not melancholic, like winter. It is not joyous or temperamental, like summer. Autumn is subdued. Everything about it is subtle, and it is the kind of weather that inspires you. I suppose I like autumn very much, it brings a feeling of comfort, and it gives me the desire to retreat to autumns past and reside in the memories therein.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
I Never Did Update...
Sorry about that.
Summer is over now. It was a nice summer, but nothing to write about now, nothing too extraordinary happened, but I'll bring things up as I see fit with coming posts. School has started, and that's more something to talk about! I don't really like to write about specific personal things happening in my life, but I feel like it's kind of necessary this time to, you know, relate how my first week or so of senior year has been: my boyfriend and I broke up the Sunday before school started.
I mention that because it's one of the reasons that it's been weird adjusting to senior year. So far, senior year has been just like junior year, but there are some differences. The day passes lightning fast after lunch, for one thing. I love my English class for another. Also, I have to think about a lot more this year: colleges, clubs, studying, etc. But it's also just like last year sometimes: Theory of Knowledge is a lot like English last year in that the same teacher teaches it and it's still like "Why the heck are we doing this?" Physics is the same, just different because of it being about electricity instead of, you know, other stuff. I'm just as lost as ever in that class, although maybe not because I actually got through the work we did in class today! Go me. Same people, same school, same teachers (well, mostly). Yeah, senior year is just like junior year in that a pancake is just like a crepe: they're just different in some ways, but then they're also a lot alike.
My friends and I are starting an ENVIRONMENTAL CLUB!! So, that's pretty exciting. That brings my extra-curriculars for the year to an all-time high, I think. Maybe, we'll see... I am almost excited about filling out my college apps just for that part, because it makes it look like I'm, you know, well-rounded and stuff. :) Pretty exciting. It feels like a lot is happening and yet I have a lot of free-time compared to last year, I think. But maybe there are things I should be doing but I'm not...We'll see! I feel pretty optimistic about senior year. I won't let it be a repeat of junior year, with all the stress and lack of studying and stupid decisions. I'm pretty happy about senior year. Things are different, and yet they've stayed the same.
There is a lot I could write about. The fact that some people are studying this and this while I'm studying about measurements and ecosystems. The fact that I'm pretty much thinking exclusively about college most weekends. The fact that I've decided where I want to go and what I want to study. The fact that...well, the list goes on. Of course, most of that is uninteresting, not that everything else I write about it very interesting to anyone besides myself anyways! For instance, my mother has started making good food sometimes now, and it's an improvement to my refrigerator's fullness level. Not interesting to YOU, but it's freaking heaven for me. Anyways, I'll blog when I can, we'll see after this week how busy I am, because the first 2 weeks are always a breeze for school. But DANG I'm happy about physics, and that's the first time I think I've said that in my life. So, any one of you ask me about charges on infinite planes, I could derive equations for you like nobody's business! Go freaking me.
Yeah, more later.
~Me.
Summer is over now. It was a nice summer, but nothing to write about now, nothing too extraordinary happened, but I'll bring things up as I see fit with coming posts. School has started, and that's more something to talk about! I don't really like to write about specific personal things happening in my life, but I feel like it's kind of necessary this time to, you know, relate how my first week or so of senior year has been: my boyfriend and I broke up the Sunday before school started.
I mention that because it's one of the reasons that it's been weird adjusting to senior year. So far, senior year has been just like junior year, but there are some differences. The day passes lightning fast after lunch, for one thing. I love my English class for another. Also, I have to think about a lot more this year: colleges, clubs, studying, etc. But it's also just like last year sometimes: Theory of Knowledge is a lot like English last year in that the same teacher teaches it and it's still like "Why the heck are we doing this?" Physics is the same, just different because of it being about electricity instead of, you know, other stuff. I'm just as lost as ever in that class, although maybe not because I actually got through the work we did in class today! Go me. Same people, same school, same teachers (well, mostly). Yeah, senior year is just like junior year in that a pancake is just like a crepe: they're just different in some ways, but then they're also a lot alike.
My friends and I are starting an ENVIRONMENTAL CLUB!! So, that's pretty exciting. That brings my extra-curriculars for the year to an all-time high, I think. Maybe, we'll see... I am almost excited about filling out my college apps just for that part, because it makes it look like I'm, you know, well-rounded and stuff. :) Pretty exciting. It feels like a lot is happening and yet I have a lot of free-time compared to last year, I think. But maybe there are things I should be doing but I'm not...We'll see! I feel pretty optimistic about senior year. I won't let it be a repeat of junior year, with all the stress and lack of studying and stupid decisions. I'm pretty happy about senior year. Things are different, and yet they've stayed the same.
There is a lot I could write about. The fact that some people are studying this and this while I'm studying about measurements and ecosystems. The fact that I'm pretty much thinking exclusively about college most weekends. The fact that I've decided where I want to go and what I want to study. The fact that...well, the list goes on. Of course, most of that is uninteresting, not that everything else I write about it very interesting to anyone besides myself anyways! For instance, my mother has started making good food sometimes now, and it's an improvement to my refrigerator's fullness level. Not interesting to YOU, but it's freaking heaven for me. Anyways, I'll blog when I can, we'll see after this week how busy I am, because the first 2 weeks are always a breeze for school. But DANG I'm happy about physics, and that's the first time I think I've said that in my life. So, any one of you ask me about charges on infinite planes, I could derive equations for you like nobody's business! Go freaking me.
Yeah, more later.
~Me.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Call Me So I Can Make a Juicy Fire; or: Kids Say the Darndest Things
I guess it is about time to start my chronicle of summer activity. Because the rest of summer will consist of studying, unless I have decided to forfeit all hopes for success senior year.
Let's start with Florida. I got to Florida, and one thing that I got that made me incredibly happy was my own room. I used to always get my own room when I went there, but it got a little bit trickier as I got brothers who also needed rooms. But this year, they managed to let me have my brother's little-used room, and I did use it. I unpacked my stuff the night I got there. Which was the beginning of my love for unpacking. I love it! It's a great idea: you don't have to live out of a suitcase, and your stuff doesn't get completely messed up! So that was nice.
Things I did in Florida...Let's see. I took care of my brothers, who are the cutest things. One disappointing thing is that they are no longer very fluent in Farsi. How you can completely lose a language in one year blows my mind. They used to speak exclusively Farsi in the home, now they speak exclusively English unless they are being scolded. How did this happen? I was majorly disliking that. Also, they fight a lot. They are boys, though, so I guess that that is normal? But still disappointing. However, they are both incredibly intelligent boys. Also, they are really good at Mario Kart, considering that they are...aged 5 and under. Video games plus 3-year olds? Scary stuff...
I also watched some interesting movies! Superbad, The Hangover, and Role Models, in that order. I've noticed that watching one of these movies is like a prelude to the others, in the sense that you get to know the actors in each movie and then see them play a similar role in the next. My least favorite of these was The Hangover. It was pretty crude. However, it also had its funny parts. I think my favorite was Superbad. Anyways, these movies started my craving for comedies. I've always liked comedies, but now I really like them.
What else did I do? Mostly, I just had a good time, alternating babysitting, eating, and relaxing. I was actually pretty busy most of the time, but I had a good time there. Hmm, looks like there wasn't too much to say about Florida, after all! I didn't even swim that much, and my tan wasn't anything to talk about (not that I really wanted or needed one...)
So, there is Florida. If I remember anything else, I will write about it. Next time I talk about traveling, I'll update everyone on my wonderful experience at USC for the Wachovia Scholars Business At Moore program, which really was a terrific experience.
Update on other stuff: I think I'm on the road to finding an extended essay topic that will suit me perfectly. And I've emailed someone for mentorship, so I'm on the TOK road! Tomorrow, I'm buying One Hundred Years of Solitude, so I'll also be on the English journal road. And today, I finally got my Biology book back from a friend's car, soooo looks like the school stuff is shaping up to a bright future. Next week begins boot camp studying, although I think I'll find that it's not really necessary to study all the subjects I considered studying as rigorously as I considered it. I think that 3 weeks will be very busy in the studying arena, but after that I should be able to just focus on a few things, because after those three weeks, I'll be done with my volunteer hours and will probably just dedicate an hour or so a day to volunteering. So, I'll have more studying time and probably more free time, as well.
College approaches with furious vigor, folks. Oh, and The Fountainhead is still an enjoyable book. More later!
Let's start with Florida. I got to Florida, and one thing that I got that made me incredibly happy was my own room. I used to always get my own room when I went there, but it got a little bit trickier as I got brothers who also needed rooms. But this year, they managed to let me have my brother's little-used room, and I did use it. I unpacked my stuff the night I got there. Which was the beginning of my love for unpacking. I love it! It's a great idea: you don't have to live out of a suitcase, and your stuff doesn't get completely messed up! So that was nice.
Things I did in Florida...Let's see. I took care of my brothers, who are the cutest things. One disappointing thing is that they are no longer very fluent in Farsi. How you can completely lose a language in one year blows my mind. They used to speak exclusively Farsi in the home, now they speak exclusively English unless they are being scolded. How did this happen? I was majorly disliking that. Also, they fight a lot. They are boys, though, so I guess that that is normal? But still disappointing. However, they are both incredibly intelligent boys. Also, they are really good at Mario Kart, considering that they are...aged 5 and under. Video games plus 3-year olds? Scary stuff...
I also watched some interesting movies! Superbad, The Hangover, and Role Models, in that order. I've noticed that watching one of these movies is like a prelude to the others, in the sense that you get to know the actors in each movie and then see them play a similar role in the next. My least favorite of these was The Hangover. It was pretty crude. However, it also had its funny parts. I think my favorite was Superbad. Anyways, these movies started my craving for comedies. I've always liked comedies, but now I really like them.
What else did I do? Mostly, I just had a good time, alternating babysitting, eating, and relaxing. I was actually pretty busy most of the time, but I had a good time there. Hmm, looks like there wasn't too much to say about Florida, after all! I didn't even swim that much, and my tan wasn't anything to talk about (not that I really wanted or needed one...)
So, there is Florida. If I remember anything else, I will write about it. Next time I talk about traveling, I'll update everyone on my wonderful experience at USC for the Wachovia Scholars Business At Moore program, which really was a terrific experience.
Update on other stuff: I think I'm on the road to finding an extended essay topic that will suit me perfectly. And I've emailed someone for mentorship, so I'm on the TOK road! Tomorrow, I'm buying One Hundred Years of Solitude, so I'll also be on the English journal road. And today, I finally got my Biology book back from a friend's car, soooo looks like the school stuff is shaping up to a bright future. Next week begins boot camp studying, although I think I'll find that it's not really necessary to study all the subjects I considered studying as rigorously as I considered it. I think that 3 weeks will be very busy in the studying arena, but after that I should be able to just focus on a few things, because after those three weeks, I'll be done with my volunteer hours and will probably just dedicate an hour or so a day to volunteering. So, I'll have more studying time and probably more free time, as well.
College approaches with furious vigor, folks. Oh, and The Fountainhead is still an enjoyable book. More later!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Home From Vacation!
These past 3 weeks have been busy!
First, I went to Florida and had a great time. Then, I went to a summer program at USC, and had another great time. Then, I went to Indiana and had yet another great time.
But I'm home now, and ready to begin my long trek through the rough terrain of education. That's right, the rest of the summer will be devoted to studying! Not exactly a good time, but I think it's necessary, and since I didn't all school year...
Two things I'm interested in learning for fun are Music Theory and Spanish. Well, Spanish mostly because I figure it would be nice to get it out of the way so I can truly focus on other, more desirable, languages. Not that I dislike Spanish, but I know other languages I want to learn MORE, but I just feel like I have a part of me that just won't let go on Spanish, so I'll consider learning it this year. Couldn't hurt, I think. And Music Theory is because I think I really want to learn how to play instruments and it will help me to know what exactly people mean by "key" and "E major" and such. Just things that are useful to know. Plus they are interesting! So yeah. My interest update for the week.
I don't really have much to say. I'll talk about my vacations at another point, I think. Right now...I just want to rest. I haven't in a while. Wednesday is back to work, and the beginning of a long year of very hard work, and I want to just sit on my bed and relax. And prepare for Wednesday, of course.
Anyways, that's all for now!
First, I went to Florida and had a great time. Then, I went to a summer program at USC, and had another great time. Then, I went to Indiana and had yet another great time.
But I'm home now, and ready to begin my long trek through the rough terrain of education. That's right, the rest of the summer will be devoted to studying! Not exactly a good time, but I think it's necessary, and since I didn't all school year...
Two things I'm interested in learning for fun are Music Theory and Spanish. Well, Spanish mostly because I figure it would be nice to get it out of the way so I can truly focus on other, more desirable, languages. Not that I dislike Spanish, but I know other languages I want to learn MORE, but I just feel like I have a part of me that just won't let go on Spanish, so I'll consider learning it this year. Couldn't hurt, I think. And Music Theory is because I think I really want to learn how to play instruments and it will help me to know what exactly people mean by "key" and "E major" and such. Just things that are useful to know. Plus they are interesting! So yeah. My interest update for the week.
I don't really have much to say. I'll talk about my vacations at another point, I think. Right now...I just want to rest. I haven't in a while. Wednesday is back to work, and the beginning of a long year of very hard work, and I want to just sit on my bed and relax. And prepare for Wednesday, of course.
Anyways, that's all for now!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Summer Love.
Summer is definitely here. It's everywhere, and the summer buzzing in my head has begun again.
I have been very busy from last week on. Tuesday was my last day of school, but then I actually wound up having to go to school on Wednesday to return some things so that I didn't owe a million dollars to my school, and so that I could get my report card. Took longer than desired... Afterward, I went to my friends' house, and I got to see some people that had been absent for too long! So, that was fun. I also went downtown with some friends, and that was fun (even though there was a lot of couple action going on that day, and I was very much without a date... But still nice to see friends, and one of my friends was leaving for Canada the next day, so good to say goodbye to her!) Then, to get ready for graduation! I wore a dress that I was very proud of, despite it being rather short. All-in-all, graduation was alright, it wasn't as long and boring as I thought it would be. I started not feeling good, though, which was bad considering what a busy day this was to be! After graduation, I went to dinner with some friends and my boyfriend's family. Food good, company good. Then, graduation get-together/party/thing, which would probably have been more fun had I not been feeling so bad, but it was still nice. I stayed over at my friends' house again, went bowling (but didn't bowl), had fun, etc.
Let me explain one thing: my mother doesn't let me ride in the car with teenagers. Just can't happen, against the rules, etc. Well, Friday, I managed to get her permission to ride with my boyfriend, C-star, from my M-star's house all the way downtown, a good 20 minute drive or more. So, there we were, driving along. Except, not driving, just sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Then, suddenly, BOOM, he crashes into the car in front of him! Ugh, ugh, ugh!! So, we pulled into a car lot and had a combo of freaking out and figuring out what to do. The lady was on her way to a bridal luncheon and seemed more pissed off about being late for that than about the crash. I couldn't believe that the ONE time my mom lets me ride with a teenager, we get into a crash! To make matters worse, we had to wait for the police to come to file a report. There was no way out of it, and no way to make sure that parents didn't find out about it. The lady's car was barely scratched, but C-star's car was...well, he needs to buy a new hood, let's just say that. More matters worsening, there were certain ITEMS that are needed when you're driving, especially when you get into a crash, that are needed in order to be driving legally, and these items were not in the car at the time. There was nothing for it, this was a crap situation and nothing could really make it better. Well, not true: the nice lady cop filed it as a less severe accident to reduce charges or something, and the ticket can be reduced. Turns out that driving without a license and registration only gets you a ticket, and doesn't get your license suspended or anything like that. But either way, we both got in trouble to some degree: he has to pay for it, and I can't ride with teenagers anymore. Set back in my goal of riding with my friends by the time I'm a senior, curse it...
Anyways, we went to a cook out for K-star, and that was pretty good. There was volleyball and food, of which I partook, and soccer and other such things, of which I did not. After the cookout, I went to volunteer at a children's carnival downtown, and I did that for a couple of hours, which was good. Got free food, got hours, and did little. So, that was fine. After that, I went to Feast (Baha'i thing, we meet every 19 days, and that was our meeting), which was nice. Too much cake in one week for me, though, so I did not eat any of the cake that the host made at Feast, even though it looked very delicious.
Saturday, I did very, very little during the day, but I did wind up going to M-star's house to see him off for Japan. We wrapped gifts for his host family, organized the gift wrap box, ate dinner, cleaned up, then chilled for a while. We watched an episode of a very good Japanese drama, Gokusen, and eventually decided it was time to hit the hay, seeing as how we had to get up at 2 a.m. so that we could see him off at the airport for his flight at 6 a.m. So began the cycle of the most sporadic sleep ever: sleep for 45 minutes, get ready and get in car to drive to Charlotte, sleep for an hour and some change, stay awake for about 20 minutes because need to pee while in car, arrive at airport, see off M-star, go back to car, sleep for hour and a half, get home, get ready for real bed, go to sleep, sleep for a few hours, wake up to phone, sleep, phone, sleep, phone, sleep, then final phone call. Seeing off M-star was pretty interesting. I was a little sad to see him go, because I realized that I wouldn't see him for nearly 2 months! But that's alright, this has been a 2 year journey, and this is a great opportunity, so it will all be worth it! Good luck, M-star!!
Oh, the reason for all the phone calls (that was this morning, ughhhh have to go to sleep soon!) was because I had planned to go to the movies with C-star at 5 or 6 this afternoon, but he had been calling to tell me that he actually had to work and couldn't make it, so we'd have to reschedule for an earlier time. Then, my mom called to see about my plans. Then, C-star called to reschedule the movies. We agreed that he'd pick me up ("he" meaning his parent, as HE wasn't going to be driving me anywhere from now on...ugh) at 1 p.m. Note to self: don't make plans when sleeping. I had agreed to the 1 o'clock time, but when I fell asleep, I didn't wake up again until C-star was calling to say he was already THERE. I was not even awake, and there it was, time for me to be picked up! I scrambled like a madwoman, and I think I made good time, considering. Surely not more than 10 minutes, which is impressive considering how much I have to do to get ready from sleep! Then, we went and had a quick snack at C-star's house before watching Terminator. The movie was alright, had some pretty good parts and a good message. Then, another snack at Atlanta Bread, Co., and then...nothing, really. Got a ride back to my M-star/S-star's house, picked up my stuff, finished reading "Persepolis," blah blah. Now home. Remind me to not be a socialite when I'm older.
The reason I feel so strange this summer is that I want a lot to get done, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it. I really want to focus on school stuff, getting ready for next year so that I'm prepared and don't get kicked in the butt like I did this year. I should be living, eating, and breathing all the things I need to get done, but there is the problem of not being very focused right now. I start doing something, and then forget why I started in the first place. I know I need to just sit down and get focused, write down the things I want to do, make a schedule, prepare myself, etc. I'm going to be traveling for 3 weeks starting this Friday, so I have this week to prepare for everything I want to prepare for, and that's definitely not a lot of time!
Let's see, things I want to do... Well, I know my weaknesses this year came from a lack of a good foundation in the subjects I was taking. I didn't pay attention in the beginning of the year, and that really hurt me when I realized the err of my ways, and screwed me over when I actually wanted good grades. If I work to get ahead before I even start, I think I can avoid that problem. So, classes I'm taking next year: History of Americas, Physics C Electricity and Magnetism, Math Studies, Spanish, Biology, English, and Theory of Knowledge. The classes I'm going to prepare for during the summer are, most importantly, physics, math, and bio. I'll read the stuff and do the work I need to do for English and Theory of Knowledge, and maybe do a little bit of brushing up on history if I have time, plus Spanish. I need to start working on my Extended Essay (especially since I don't even have a topic yet, and we need to have x amount of words written by the first week of school for a major test grade!). I need to start thinking seriously about college stuff, like where I want to apply and what scholarships I want to apply for, etc. There's a lot to do, plus just normal summer stuff is bound to get in the way, so I have to plan around that. I can't just sleep in late and laze around like I normally do during summer, I'm going to be working harder than I ever have in school, and I need to start as soon as possible. I'm also (hopefully) volunteering at the library this summer, so that means I'll be getting up at normal time everyday, which means no super late nights. At least I won't have the summer syndrome of losing track of what day of the week it is, I suppose! Work, work, work...
I guess that all of this freaks me out, but it's all in my head. I can do it if I try, I just need to try! I can't do ANYTHING if I don't work for it, right? So, the main thing in this case is showing up. I need to show up, I need to put in an effort, and I'll get SOMETHING done. Aim high, and no matter how far from your target you get, you'll get somewhere, which is better than sitting there, gun in hand, waiting for something to fall to the ground. I'll get somewhere if I put in an effort, and I'll get nowhere if I don't try. So, there is the hurdle I need to cross in order to accomplish what I need to: I need to learn to really, really try. Put in true effort, and work to get things accomplished. I'll update when I have any news of how my ventures are going!
Happy Summer, by the way!
I have been very busy from last week on. Tuesday was my last day of school, but then I actually wound up having to go to school on Wednesday to return some things so that I didn't owe a million dollars to my school, and so that I could get my report card. Took longer than desired... Afterward, I went to my friends' house, and I got to see some people that had been absent for too long! So, that was fun. I also went downtown with some friends, and that was fun (even though there was a lot of couple action going on that day, and I was very much without a date... But still nice to see friends, and one of my friends was leaving for Canada the next day, so good to say goodbye to her!) Then, to get ready for graduation! I wore a dress that I was very proud of, despite it being rather short. All-in-all, graduation was alright, it wasn't as long and boring as I thought it would be. I started not feeling good, though, which was bad considering what a busy day this was to be! After graduation, I went to dinner with some friends and my boyfriend's family. Food good, company good. Then, graduation get-together/party/thing, which would probably have been more fun had I not been feeling so bad, but it was still nice. I stayed over at my friends' house again, went bowling (but didn't bowl), had fun, etc.
Let me explain one thing: my mother doesn't let me ride in the car with teenagers. Just can't happen, against the rules, etc. Well, Friday, I managed to get her permission to ride with my boyfriend, C-star, from my M-star's house all the way downtown, a good 20 minute drive or more. So, there we were, driving along. Except, not driving, just sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Then, suddenly, BOOM, he crashes into the car in front of him! Ugh, ugh, ugh!! So, we pulled into a car lot and had a combo of freaking out and figuring out what to do. The lady was on her way to a bridal luncheon and seemed more pissed off about being late for that than about the crash. I couldn't believe that the ONE time my mom lets me ride with a teenager, we get into a crash! To make matters worse, we had to wait for the police to come to file a report. There was no way out of it, and no way to make sure that parents didn't find out about it. The lady's car was barely scratched, but C-star's car was...well, he needs to buy a new hood, let's just say that. More matters worsening, there were certain ITEMS that are needed when you're driving, especially when you get into a crash, that are needed in order to be driving legally, and these items were not in the car at the time. There was nothing for it, this was a crap situation and nothing could really make it better. Well, not true: the nice lady cop filed it as a less severe accident to reduce charges or something, and the ticket can be reduced. Turns out that driving without a license and registration only gets you a ticket, and doesn't get your license suspended or anything like that. But either way, we both got in trouble to some degree: he has to pay for it, and I can't ride with teenagers anymore. Set back in my goal of riding with my friends by the time I'm a senior, curse it...
Anyways, we went to a cook out for K-star, and that was pretty good. There was volleyball and food, of which I partook, and soccer and other such things, of which I did not. After the cookout, I went to volunteer at a children's carnival downtown, and I did that for a couple of hours, which was good. Got free food, got hours, and did little. So, that was fine. After that, I went to Feast (Baha'i thing, we meet every 19 days, and that was our meeting), which was nice. Too much cake in one week for me, though, so I did not eat any of the cake that the host made at Feast, even though it looked very delicious.
Saturday, I did very, very little during the day, but I did wind up going to M-star's house to see him off for Japan. We wrapped gifts for his host family, organized the gift wrap box, ate dinner, cleaned up, then chilled for a while. We watched an episode of a very good Japanese drama, Gokusen, and eventually decided it was time to hit the hay, seeing as how we had to get up at 2 a.m. so that we could see him off at the airport for his flight at 6 a.m. So began the cycle of the most sporadic sleep ever: sleep for 45 minutes, get ready and get in car to drive to Charlotte, sleep for an hour and some change, stay awake for about 20 minutes because need to pee while in car, arrive at airport, see off M-star, go back to car, sleep for hour and a half, get home, get ready for real bed, go to sleep, sleep for a few hours, wake up to phone, sleep, phone, sleep, phone, sleep, then final phone call. Seeing off M-star was pretty interesting. I was a little sad to see him go, because I realized that I wouldn't see him for nearly 2 months! But that's alright, this has been a 2 year journey, and this is a great opportunity, so it will all be worth it! Good luck, M-star!!
Oh, the reason for all the phone calls (that was this morning, ughhhh have to go to sleep soon!) was because I had planned to go to the movies with C-star at 5 or 6 this afternoon, but he had been calling to tell me that he actually had to work and couldn't make it, so we'd have to reschedule for an earlier time. Then, my mom called to see about my plans. Then, C-star called to reschedule the movies. We agreed that he'd pick me up ("he" meaning his parent, as HE wasn't going to be driving me anywhere from now on...ugh) at 1 p.m. Note to self: don't make plans when sleeping. I had agreed to the 1 o'clock time, but when I fell asleep, I didn't wake up again until C-star was calling to say he was already THERE. I was not even awake, and there it was, time for me to be picked up! I scrambled like a madwoman, and I think I made good time, considering. Surely not more than 10 minutes, which is impressive considering how much I have to do to get ready from sleep! Then, we went and had a quick snack at C-star's house before watching Terminator. The movie was alright, had some pretty good parts and a good message. Then, another snack at Atlanta Bread, Co., and then...nothing, really. Got a ride back to my M-star/S-star's house, picked up my stuff, finished reading "Persepolis," blah blah. Now home. Remind me to not be a socialite when I'm older.
The reason I feel so strange this summer is that I want a lot to get done, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it. I really want to focus on school stuff, getting ready for next year so that I'm prepared and don't get kicked in the butt like I did this year. I should be living, eating, and breathing all the things I need to get done, but there is the problem of not being very focused right now. I start doing something, and then forget why I started in the first place. I know I need to just sit down and get focused, write down the things I want to do, make a schedule, prepare myself, etc. I'm going to be traveling for 3 weeks starting this Friday, so I have this week to prepare for everything I want to prepare for, and that's definitely not a lot of time!
Let's see, things I want to do... Well, I know my weaknesses this year came from a lack of a good foundation in the subjects I was taking. I didn't pay attention in the beginning of the year, and that really hurt me when I realized the err of my ways, and screwed me over when I actually wanted good grades. If I work to get ahead before I even start, I think I can avoid that problem. So, classes I'm taking next year: History of Americas, Physics C Electricity and Magnetism, Math Studies, Spanish, Biology, English, and Theory of Knowledge. The classes I'm going to prepare for during the summer are, most importantly, physics, math, and bio. I'll read the stuff and do the work I need to do for English and Theory of Knowledge, and maybe do a little bit of brushing up on history if I have time, plus Spanish. I need to start working on my Extended Essay (especially since I don't even have a topic yet, and we need to have x amount of words written by the first week of school for a major test grade!). I need to start thinking seriously about college stuff, like where I want to apply and what scholarships I want to apply for, etc. There's a lot to do, plus just normal summer stuff is bound to get in the way, so I have to plan around that. I can't just sleep in late and laze around like I normally do during summer, I'm going to be working harder than I ever have in school, and I need to start as soon as possible. I'm also (hopefully) volunteering at the library this summer, so that means I'll be getting up at normal time everyday, which means no super late nights. At least I won't have the summer syndrome of losing track of what day of the week it is, I suppose! Work, work, work...
I guess that all of this freaks me out, but it's all in my head. I can do it if I try, I just need to try! I can't do ANYTHING if I don't work for it, right? So, the main thing in this case is showing up. I need to show up, I need to put in an effort, and I'll get SOMETHING done. Aim high, and no matter how far from your target you get, you'll get somewhere, which is better than sitting there, gun in hand, waiting for something to fall to the ground. I'll get somewhere if I put in an effort, and I'll get nowhere if I don't try. So, there is the hurdle I need to cross in order to accomplish what I need to: I need to learn to really, really try. Put in true effort, and work to get things accomplished. I'll update when I have any news of how my ventures are going!
Happy Summer, by the way!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sorry, Folks.
I said I would start crazy posting once APs were over, and I've definitely lied. Sorry about that, but I've actually gotten super distracted lately by stuff going on in my life to post, plus my mom has gone on a computer hogging RAGE so my opportunity for computer usage has been limited to say the least. Not to mention the fact that I'm grounded for grades, anyways. Okay, those are my excuses.
I can't really give a long post right now, as I still have homework to complete, and it's already reaching that fairly late point. Fairly late to be starting homework. Why do I still have homework to complete when it's so late in the year? It's a crime, for serious.
I did just want to tell everyone that I will hopefully be really updating soon, with my plans for the summer, my reflections on this past year, my recent thoughts and latest interests. You know, the usual. My blog, I do what I want. I will say, as a sort of teaser update, that I am reading Hardy's "Jude the Obscure," and so far, it's been an easy enough read, in the sense that the language is not complex, but I'm pretty far into it now, and I am still not sure what the point of the book is. But whatever, parts of it are kind of weird, but other than that it's an okay novel. I give it a 5 or 6, I think. Maybe I'll reread it at some point and give it an 8. Next, I'm choosing between Dante's "Inferno" and (The Doctor's English class will love this) "To Sir, With Love." I picked them both, but chances are I won't finish/like either. Anyways, that's what's going on in the literature of my life right now. Oh right, in the cinematic arena, I've watched a movie that I give a very good rating: Star Trek. I liked it, it was good in almost every way that I wanted it to be. Don't care what the critics say. So, that's also up.
Like I said, I'll hopefully start some real updates soon, but for now, that will have to do. Btw, I have trouble updating here when I either write in my journal frequently or am writing lots of things to other people. Both of those things have been happening, so that's also a reason why I haven't updated much. But I'll try to stop that, too. Okay, tiredness is getting high now, I should get started on homework.
~Me.
I can't really give a long post right now, as I still have homework to complete, and it's already reaching that fairly late point. Fairly late to be starting homework. Why do I still have homework to complete when it's so late in the year? It's a crime, for serious.
I did just want to tell everyone that I will hopefully be really updating soon, with my plans for the summer, my reflections on this past year, my recent thoughts and latest interests. You know, the usual. My blog, I do what I want. I will say, as a sort of teaser update, that I am reading Hardy's "Jude the Obscure," and so far, it's been an easy enough read, in the sense that the language is not complex, but I'm pretty far into it now, and I am still not sure what the point of the book is. But whatever, parts of it are kind of weird, but other than that it's an okay novel. I give it a 5 or 6, I think. Maybe I'll reread it at some point and give it an 8. Next, I'm choosing between Dante's "Inferno" and (The Doctor's English class will love this) "To Sir, With Love." I picked them both, but chances are I won't finish/like either. Anyways, that's what's going on in the literature of my life right now. Oh right, in the cinematic arena, I've watched a movie that I give a very good rating: Star Trek. I liked it, it was good in almost every way that I wanted it to be. Don't care what the critics say. So, that's also up.
Like I said, I'll hopefully start some real updates soon, but for now, that will have to do. Btw, I have trouble updating here when I either write in my journal frequently or am writing lots of things to other people. Both of those things have been happening, so that's also a reason why I haven't updated much. But I'll try to stop that, too. Okay, tiredness is getting high now, I should get started on homework.
~Me.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Who Will Watch
As promised, I am back in the blogging scene, which I had to leave in preparation for APs. They are over now, and so is my stress about school. No worries anymore.
I'm reading Watchmen right now. I must say, the name "graphic novel" is very fitting, because I would describe it to anyone as a novel. It has so many incredibly deep meanings, and it is pieced together terrifically. If only I could write so well!
I was thinking last night about several things, and I've realized that I've never really seen a point in the world. We live in a constant state of death, living to die, and the world turns with relationships built and ended and words made and promises broken. I was asking someone once, what is the point of getting close to people if it won't last forever, and they said that they thought it was because we should enjoy the people we experience while they are there. I don't know if I particularly like this idea: it seems so pointless and empty to me, to make relationships just to have to end them later in life. Those friends closest to you won't be there someday, and that seems to cold and dark to me. But I suppose we have no choice, because time and death eventually take us all, and the ones left on earth must remain dust on dust.
Summer is so close that it already itches and burns and sticks to my skin, like the ride home after a day at the beach. I long for the monotony of hot days and cool nights and wasted hours of pure, foggy enjoyment. The time to do what I want, the time to be myself completely. The days that aren't so cold that I'm left shivering, and the times to see those I do not see enough. And most of all, to see myself. Yes, I cannot wait for summer.
I'm sorry this isn't much of an update, but my life has not changed drastically in this past month. My mind is expanding, and the thoughts whirl continuously, as they haven't in eons, but I cannot write them down here yet, because I need the cement to dry first. I will be posting more now that I have the time, though, so for the bored in search of boredom, look forward to that!
I'm reading Watchmen right now. I must say, the name "graphic novel" is very fitting, because I would describe it to anyone as a novel. It has so many incredibly deep meanings, and it is pieced together terrifically. If only I could write so well!
I was thinking last night about several things, and I've realized that I've never really seen a point in the world. We live in a constant state of death, living to die, and the world turns with relationships built and ended and words made and promises broken. I was asking someone once, what is the point of getting close to people if it won't last forever, and they said that they thought it was because we should enjoy the people we experience while they are there. I don't know if I particularly like this idea: it seems so pointless and empty to me, to make relationships just to have to end them later in life. Those friends closest to you won't be there someday, and that seems to cold and dark to me. But I suppose we have no choice, because time and death eventually take us all, and the ones left on earth must remain dust on dust.
Summer is so close that it already itches and burns and sticks to my skin, like the ride home after a day at the beach. I long for the monotony of hot days and cool nights and wasted hours of pure, foggy enjoyment. The time to do what I want, the time to be myself completely. The days that aren't so cold that I'm left shivering, and the times to see those I do not see enough. And most of all, to see myself. Yes, I cannot wait for summer.
I'm sorry this isn't much of an update, but my life has not changed drastically in this past month. My mind is expanding, and the thoughts whirl continuously, as they haven't in eons, but I cannot write them down here yet, because I need the cement to dry first. I will be posting more now that I have the time, though, so for the bored in search of boredom, look forward to that!
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